What?

Facebook Status Update:

"Just had my first Chinese massage and was spanked 4 times during my 20 minute session.  Seriously spanked right on my bottom!  Is that normal?  Or have I just been violated?

I'm not even kidding.  And based on the responses I received on facebook, a spanking during a Chinese massage is not normal.

Why do these things happen to me?

I was finally taking an afternoon just to pamper myself, but instead found myself being stretched, smashed, cracked - basically tortured by a complete stranger.  And then spanked!

I left the massage dazed and confused, wondering what in the world just happened.

Oh, if you could have seen the expression on my face through the little "face hole" that is at the top of the massage table!  Lots of lip-biting, breath-holding, eye's popping out of my head and many, many stifled laughs (because apparently I am slightly ticklish).  And the gasps upon being spanked!  The whole thing was just so shocking, and really funny now that I think about it.  And so weird.

And the worst part is that I made an appointment for Andy that same evening because I wanted to make sure it was standard Chinese practice to be smacked on the rear several times during your massage (but mostly because I thought it would be so funny for him to be spanked too).

No spank.

I am very upset.

I'll be sticking to pedicures from now on when I feel the need to spoil myself...